We all have times when we are immobilized by what seems to be an impossible decision. Next time this happens to you, try this technique:

SAMPLE:

A woman loves two men, both good husband material. Both men want to marry her, and she is torn between them but must choose.

METHOD FOR SOLVING THE PROBLEM:

I callI call this the Walking Clear method. Place two chairs back to back. Name one Paul, and the other Bill. Now sit for about fifteen minutes in the ’Paul’ chair and visualize what life would be like if you choose Paul. After sitting with Paul, rise and walk through the next three days, visualizing your life with Paul. Go into as much detail as possible. How will your life change with Paul? How do you feel about it? Take a day to breathe in-between, then do the same with Bill; walk three days with life with Bill. With both visualizations, be sure to address all the issues important to you, such as children, your families, money careers, where you will live, plans for the future, etc.

RESULTS:

By the end of the seven days, you will have a much clearer picture and you will most likely be able to make your choice. Whatever happens, time spent deeply studying yourself and your preferences is always enriching.

WHO IS OBSERVING?

It is called by many names, but nearly every spiritual path has something like the idea of the silent observer. The Silent Observer, practiced with compassion, allows us to see ourselves much more clearly and objectively, and to begin to separate consciousness from the body, the emotions, and the mind.

Consciousness is the true Self. The rest - body, mind and emotions - can be observed.

ASSIGNMENT:

 Sit in a quiet space, starting with five minutes a day, and observe yourself with compassion, and without judgement, your body, your emotions, and your thinking. Don't try to change anything; just observe with a friendly, interested attitude. Later you may want to increase the time and eventually begin gently observing as you go through your entire day.

RESULTS:

This practice is a wonderful prelude to consciousness work.

Our minds are always comparing ourselves with others: am I as good at that as him?

Am I better looking or is she? Are my kids as smart as his?

As we become more spiritually aware we change what we are comparing: Do I meditate as deeply as him? Am I as compassionate as she is? I'll never measure up to my parent/teacher/friend/guru. It helps to understand that these thoughts, not the fact of whether someone is worse or better than us, are the cause of our feelings of aloneness, pain and suffering. This kind of inner dialogue brings about a state of separation: we experience abandonment -- of ourselves!

Consider this: Superior/Inferior are opposite sides of the same coin and when one is present the other is too. So when you are feeling inferior, look deeper and you will find superiority, when you are feeling superior look deeper and you will find inferiority.

What to do? Look to see: is there a grain of truth there? If we have knowledge the other lacks (superiority) how can we give that new awareness to them? Giving to them that which we have (and they lack) brings us back to equality. Connection is reestablished. By the same token, if we can identify what they have but we lack (inferiority),we can ask them to teach us, again bringing us back to equality. In other cases we recognize we must accept the difference: a professional cook/athlete/musician will always be better; a person who can't read will never understand references to Shakespeare. A true acceptance of our place in the scheme of things will allow us to come back to equality. Connection can be reestablished. Remember: connection, Oneness, unity, and true peace, can only be experienced when we have released the illusion of separateness.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy,sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

1. A tendency to think and act  spontaneously rather then from fears based on past experiences.
2. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
3. A loss of interest in judging self.
4. A loss of interest in judging others.
5. A loss of interest in conflict.
6. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
7.  A loss of ability to worry. (this is a very serious symptom).
8. Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
9. Contented feeling of connectedness with others and nature.
10. Frequent  attacks of smiling through the heart.
11. Increasing susceptibility to love extended by others , as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.
12. An increasing tendency  to let things happen rather than trying to control them. 

 --Anonymous